As if a sign from above, the T bone and I were watching tv, and on came Hip Hop’s Toughest Rhymes, featuring our favorite political lobbyist. I heard he was pretty conservative in his lyrics, he specifically used the word “Broad” instead of “Bitch”. In my book, that makes him pretty damn near Donny Osmond.
Imagine if rap suddenly became very political? Like if those kid touching racists in office suddenly realized- Hey, we can reach our target demographic by releazing a republican sponsored rap album. The only logical solution would be to have Cheney do it, right? I mean, there must be some Jesus rap out there somewhere, so why just not just attach some shit about social security to it, GOLDEN.
Tarn, thank you for the comment, it cracked me up.
We had a party the other night, it was good. I’m not much of one for being like “duuuuuude, it was soooooo craaaaazzzzyyyyy” so I wont, but a good time was had by most, if not some. We decided that having large gatherings is a good way to clean your house, because after everyone leaves, its a mess, there are cheetos stuck to the dining room table, and the toilet is clogged. Then when you only figure that out after the wood flooring starts to warp, I mean, it just might be time to break out the mop and vaccum.
So I have neglected the dear blog for so long, its very difficult to reconcile. I wonder if it will love me as much as it once did? Well, its just a blog, not a living thing, so I might be ok- although we may need couples counceling.
So much has happened once again since we spoke last dear Blog, how have you been? I recently returned from France, and came to realize several important facts:
1. French wine is delicious and cheap over there
2. The Panini sandwiches they sell are also delicious
3. Pastries, same thing
4. Cheese, not that far off.
It was a true food odyssey, although it felt empty lacking web master T Bone. I brought him back some Absynthe to make up for it. I’m sure that will be another entry right there.
My biggest embarassment was Speaking spanish to a french person by mistake. I dont know if you know this about me, but I cannot speak French, and can barely speak Spanish. I felt so ridiculous, I almost ran away in shame, but he was making me a sandwich, and I very well couldnt leave that one alone uneaten.
My Republican friend sent me a comment about stacking the flow. Now, I feel its important that we discuss this at greater length some time, because I dont know if Rumsfeld, or Harriet Meyers would approve of that. Young Jeezey is very stern in his democratic leanings these days, I once heard he briefly became a lobbyist and moved to DC, but got caught in a dreadful scandal when his flow was stacked incorrectly, causing a full scale audit, and rather than make a public statemenr, he resigned, leading to a life of Hip Hop.
In a blog, its most likely read by people you know, so when disclosing facts you have to be careful. Check this shit out:
We’re having a poker game at the apartment this Saturday. And you fuckers better watch out, i’m a card shark, like whoa! yes, like whoa. Ya’ll be leaving without yo pants, bitches. (now if thats because I will win them, or beacause its a no pants poker party and you might misplace them in the ruckus, well, we’ll leave that one to chance)
I havent commented on the now not so recent loss of K Rock on the blog, so here we go. Honestly, I dont care about losing the alternative rock music. I could live without it any day. Stern left on his own, that i will learn to deal with. I also happen to like FM talk, so00 it seems kind of positive, right? WRONG. What I cant deal with, is the loss of a rock and roll legend, who i didnt really admire, but appreciated. Diamond Dave himself. I once heard super drummer Greg Bissonette (does it count as name dropping if no one knows who the hell that is??) tell stories about his tour with Roth in the 80’s- how he made him stand up on his seat for a drum solo, and he fell off and broke all sorts of things, teaching him that showmanship is way more important than technical ability. Thats the rock and roll asshole i want to remember. Not some washed up 50 year old talk show host, so out of touch with reality that all he can reference is American Idol and Paris Hilton?? Come on Dave, you’re better than that. I’m too hurt to continue and fear my falling tears may short out the computer, on we go.
My friend, singer, bandmate and occasional life partner Derrick occasionally reads this blog, but i havent updated in so long, the chances are slim. But here it is: Derrick hates the hipsters. (you do right? if you are reading, you’ll agree with that) But here is the thing- he totally got a hipster haircut. It looks good on him, were i skinny female with dyed black hair and some tattoos, i’d be all over that shit. Now, if you look like a hipster, does that automatically make you one? I think it kind of does. After a long analysis of the hipster culture, i’ve realized its pretty much 85% about looks, and 15% about snobbery. It breaks down like this- if i see some kid dressed like a hipster, I assume he is one, and avoid him so i dont get the 15% attitude. I assume most do the same, so by a general conscensus, most agree. How do you tell a friend he is a hipster without hurting his feelings?