I’m going to make an outrageous claim. Ready?
Trey Anastasio’s new album sucks because of the snare drum. Now I know what you are saying “who cares, and you dont know what you’re talking about Steve- you just like to criticize because you are secretly mad at Phish for sucking that night you could have made 1200$ off of your ticket,,,,What?)
We all knew something was happening in recent months, those of us who are recoverring jam band/ phish heads. I saw him at the Tom Waits benefit show, and it just wasnt happening. My friend Dave commented “its like he wants to be a pop star now” and I could not agree more. And thus, we return to the snare drum. Go to itunes right now, do some previewing. Listen to any of the Phish records. Notice anything? The snare is very muted, nothing at all fancy, the focus is on the music, rather than the production. A phish album was just a companion to the live show. BUT, as soon as they break up, and MR Anastasio imagines great success afterwards…His attendance numbers start falling. His summer shed tour is cancelled, he fires his old 10 pc solo act, which fucking rocked, and gets a bunch of rock and roll looking backup dudes. AND SO, he needs to make his new album more radio friendly. It kind of sounds like a phish album, without the friendly musical structures that let you know these dudes are just as nerdy as you are, and instead- A BIG FUCKING REVERB LADEN SNARE DRUM.
so here is a letter, from me to Trey. Maybe i’ll give it to that guy I recorded for the BBC who used to play sax with him to be the middle man. “Hey remember me? You used to date my roomate, then I recorded you talking on the phone for a bit to some guy in england. Anyway, could you give some Hate Mail to trey for me? Thanks homey” anyway….
Dear Mr Anastasio,
We’ve had some good times over the years. There was the time I waited in 13 hrs of traffic with 3 people in a Dodge Neon to go 2 miles to see your festival, the time the whole crowd was nearly struck by lightning in Camden, the mud, the heat, the hippies. But there were also the positive aspects- such as the Veggie Burritos in the parking lots, that show also at Camden that rocked, lets face it, a lot of the shows rocked. I’ll forgive you for the shitty comeback show on New Years that you played which inadvertantly caused me to have a life long grudge against the mayor of my town, but I digress.
What i’m saying T-Bag (there is already a T bone, so you get that name, ok? good) is that there are some good memories that we all have. You, me, that old guy with the white beard who used to dance like a mental patient at all the shows, and the thousands of frat boys in their white hats looking to pick up hippy chicks. the point is DONT FUCKING RUIN IT. You can so easily taint everyones remaining positive memories of a band you were in by trying way too late in your career to be a pop star. You have like 40 million dollars, a badass house and studio in Vermont, and a family and whatnot. Just fucking be happy with that. Take a few years off, do yoga or something, eat some fucking granola. Just dont try to be a pop star. You made a video for your new single? Dude, you dont need that. You have the most hardcore of all indie cred. You went from the dorm room to stadiums with NO main stream help. What the fuck? Just give it up.
and for god sakes, turn down the production on that fucking snare drum. Ok T-Bag? T-Bizzle? I may talk all the shit in the world, but I will totally be your yes man if you want to put me in your band, or just on the entourage to hang around. deal? good.
sincerely,
Steve
So much to say, I have been slacking on this blog-o-thing for weeks.
Lets start with halloween. After much procrastination, I went to see Medeski Martin and Wood. I have been out of the jamband loop for a long time, so I figured it was time to go see a big holiday event back in the scene. As you could imagine, it did not go as planned. I have spoken about my affinity for the MMW on these pages before, so I don’t need to go into it too much. Lets just say they are a band you need to pay attention to while at a show, because there is a lot happening. I planted myself in the front row along the railing, and prepared to Rock the fuck out. By that, I mean listen attentively.
There were some fun costumes in the Hammerstein Ballroom. By far the best, were 3 guys, dressed in sport jackets, wearing 50’s style wigs, carrying balloons, a microphone and a check. I couldnt tell what was going on at first, but they were the Publishers Clearing House people. They had a giant check made out to “Dorothy Mantooth” and would approach someone, throw confetti at them, and scream “Dorothy, how does it feel to win a million dollars!” everyone around them would cheer, then they would pause and say “Wait, you’re not dorothy….somebody clean this up” and walk away. I was cracking up
The band took the stage, and did some freaky stuff. There were trapeze artists swinging from the ceiling, Medeski was dressed as a spider (appropriately, it sounds like the guy has 8 arms to begin with) Wood was a goth rocker, and my homey Billy Martin, was dressed as nothing, and i’m not gonna lie, I was a little dissappointed. The first 45 minutes were amazing, our little section of the crowd was tight knit, and rocking out. But, things changed in a bit. Some guys dressed as nuns pushed their way up to the front, right behind me, and proceeded to talk the entire time. I was going to say “Hey Sister, you are supposed to be quiet in church” but i decided against it at the last minute, because i live on the edge like that. YEAH.
As the show continued, people yelled things during the quiet parts such as “Kill Your Mother” which i really dont get. In conclusion, Jam Band crowds just don’t do it for me anymore. There are maybe 2 bands on earth i would sit through that for, and its MMW and Wilco, both of which has happened.
One thing though, I watched Billy Martin like a hawk, trying to figure out some stuff he was doing. And in the process, I think i made myself more intimidated by him. Last time I took a lesson, I felt good, like “Hey, I can totally rock a solo in front of this guy. Who is he??? Just another drummer!” but after the show it was like ” who is he?? Just another drummer that can play in front of 4000 people, hire trapeze artists and a marching band for his show, and then go to Japan for new years eve” So, I’m back where I started.
At the end of the show, I was walking out, trying to see if there was anyone I knew, but not necessarily talk to or been seen by them. I walked by one kid, dressed as a farmer, straw hat, overalls, yelling “Who’s Got My Doses!” in phish head speak, that means- “Does anyone have acid they could sell me?” This was no rare occurrance, until i looked at his face, and noticed we had an art class together at my high school. I almost said hi, because he was a funny kid, but did not, because I imagine our conversation would have gone like this:
Farmer: Who’s got my doses???
Steve: Hey, are you Jason? We went to PV together
Farmer: Oh, yeah, how are you?
Steve: Umm, good, whats happening?
Farmer: Not much, just looking for some acid, you got any?
Steve: No……I’ve gotta go watch Laguna Beach, i’ll see you later