a free form jazz odyssey in front of a festival crowd

So, its finally time, I’m selling my machete

http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/for/88063376.html

there is no joke, I actually found this wrapped in the matress I dragged out of my room when I moved in. The thing is, do I really want to meet someone interested in purchasing a large knife? Maybe they can Paypal me, and I’ll mail it. Is that legal?

I also sold my air conditioner in under 3 hrs on Craigslist, Craig, you are the man. Why am I selling it you may ask? I am moving. The new place is a slight improvement, a little larger, built in AC, nicer kitchen and bathroom, thats about it. Moving is annoying, but I do not have that much stuff.

Went to a Yankee game Friday, I had not attended one in close to 7 years, i think. Overall, it was a good experience. I cannot stand sports. I just don’t get it. But, even with that, there is something fun about Yankee Stadium, and eating a 4.50 hotdog. They charge 8.50 for a beer. If i were a serious beer drinker, I would be PISSED. Some guy stepped on a ketchup packet and made a nice design on my dad’s shirt, so I got a free hotdog out of it. High five for people stepping on ketchup, offering to buy a hotdog, and my dad being on a diet. rock.

The band has a show at the Lit Lounge. www.litloungenyc.com this wednesday, we play at 11pm. Thats a little rough for you dayjob folks, but live it up.

I think we should turn the food odyssey into a podcast. Thoughts???

AAAAAh

ever have one of those moments where someone insults you, and either you laugh it off or have a non witty comeback?

Then the next day/hour/week you have the BEST comeback ever?

SHIT!!!!! now, who’s got my time machine?

There is a club out there, called Non Indians Eating Indian Food. It is a subsidiary of the Food Odyssey, kind of like Vh1 classic is to Vh1. Last night, I branched off, and went on my own Indian food excursion. There is a place in NY on 6th street and 1st ave, where 4 Indian restaurants border eachother, and someone stands outside of each yelling at you to come in. They each offer you a different deal, such as free wine- free dessert and whatnot. We went with the place offering 5.95 for your whole meal, appetizer, entre, dessert, bread, and wine. Not bad st all. I went with my non standard food crew, and I must say, it did not have the same feeling as a normal Odyssey.
So the food was freaking delecious. Not too spicy, yet with a nice kick. The place was covered with strange Christmas-like decorations, hanging from every inch of the ceiling, it felt kind of psychedelic.

My minor celebrity streak has continued. I recently joined a gym very close to work, because I have been feeling lazy. In my former life, I went to the gym 5 times a week, and rocked it like a hurricane. Since my move to the NY, It just hasnt happened. Maybe its the constant walking? who knows. Soo, I’m running on the elyptical thingy, feeling like i’m accomplishing something while running in place, and I see a familiar face walk by. It takes me a minute to place him, then I need to hold myself up and try not to fall off the machine.
It was JC Chazez from NSync.
I thought about going up to him and saying, “Man, that Black Eyed Peas song you did was cool, isnt it awesome that Britney got all fat and weird after you broke up! That tour with Christina Agulera was huge!!! oh, my bad, that was the other guy, at least you didn’t cry on Punk’d”

In truth, I’m kidding. Anyone who has achieved more musical success than I have is respectable in my eyes. Even if he didnt write his own songs, and performed shitty, shitty music.

Last night, thanks to the help of my sister, I won an eBay auction for a Kat DK10 drum controller. I am incredibly psyced. Next time you see me, I will be a complete electronic drum freak, triggering sounds like Yes-style orchestra hits, and big giant inverted reverb snares. yeah, uh.

Much is happening, here is the count:

delicious meals eaten today- 2
Amount of meat eaten this weekend- A lot
Pictures in existance of me and Jeff Tweedy-2
Pete and Pete cast members seen to date on separate occasions- 3
I will break that down a bit, starting with the last

The Nickelodeon show “The Adventures of Pete & Pete” was a staple of my childhood televesion experience. It was weird as hell, hilarious, filmed in NJ, and featured Iggy Pop. While at a Phish show several years ago, I saw little pete dropping acid. A few years later I stood behind Ellen (big pete’s girlfriend) on line at the airport in Boston. Finally, today, walking out of my apartment, I saw Big Pete walking with some girl. Now, if i see Artie, the strongest man in the world, my life will be complete.

in the 7 hours that I have been awake so far today, I have already eaten a Falafel, 2 Empenadas, and a delicious Green Orange shake. Much respect to Time Out NY’s guide to cheap eats in the city. I was very early to work this evening, so I sat in a park sort of area on 49th street, reading the Time Out international cuisine guide, and I noticed an Argentinian place on 51st and 9th. The food odyssey theme song began playing in my head (a mix of Dio’s Holy Diver and Abba’s Dancing Queen- only a prototype) and off I went. Empenada Mama, as it is called, is freakin delecious. So much variety, so little $. Each one is about 2$ and 2 will fill you up. I went for the big time, and got a green orange fruit shake, and it might have been one of the 5 best descisions I have ever made in my life. It may become a staple of my work diet.
I joined a gym before I ate, so I feel like I accomplished something.

I randomly checked the Wilco site (www.wilcoworld.net) to see if there were any tour dates happening, lo and behold, my face is on the front page. Its very small in the picture, but if you look in the direction Jeff Tweedy’s mic stand is pointing, you will see my face. I once met the band in an LA bookstore, and got a picture with the Tweed, and in a move of extreme toolery- I blinked. oy vey. The web page photo was taken at Penn’s Landing in Philidelphia, it was a fantastic show.

This weekend, the Odyssey Crew, and a few select extras went into the woods. Much wilderness was explored, many roots were slept on, many tent poles were left at home, and much meat was eaten. There were Ribs, Burgers, Dogs, Sausage, Chicken and so much more. It has caused me to make a life changing descision, for this week. I am going to attempt to go vegetarian for 7 days, beginning today. I doubt it will happen, but I made an effort today by ordering the Spinach and Cheese empenada instead of the beef one (when in reality I totally should have gotten the “Elvis” PB and Banana)

Other than that….not much is happening. I’m fighting a Starbucks addiction to the Mint Moca Chip drink, My sleep schedule is almost completely reversed, My band is looking for a new guitar player, I am involved in an ‘Official Situation’ you know, stuff like that.

There is a certain inner peace that you can only achieve while at work at 4am. Maybe its a sort of delerium, but right before you get your second wind, its kind of a good feeling. This is by far the most conveniant overnight job I have worked so far (its the 3rd) for one reason; Food. I can pretty much get any type of food that I want, except for one key thing. Falafel. Last night, I did not work, but was unable to sleep until 5:00am, and i thought about eating a falafel late into the morning. It might have just been the fact that i worked overnight since sunday, but either way.

I got some great studio pictures, but I cant figure out how to post them, perhaps web master TARN will assist me.

We’re going camping this weekend, the first primitive food odyssey. Lets hope all goes well, and our burgers do not burn. Isnt that all we could ever ask for in life?

Myspace just got bought by Fox. I do not partake in the myspace phenomenon, it just scares me. Internet stalking is a frightening thing, it is only used to compare yourself to others, and that is not a positive thing for anyone involved. One day the Tarn and myself will write a book on the internet, and the first chapter will be on stalking.

There is a delicate balance in life, which I call the Universal Displacement Theory. My entire life, this theory has proven true. When one person I know loses weight, another gains. When one aspect of life is stable, another gets all screwey. There was a Seinfeld episode about it.

No real point to this post, its 4:21am, deal with it

The Siren festival on Coney Island has been renamed “Day of the Sunburnt Hipsters”. I myself am not a hipster, but DAMN am I sunburnt. ouch. There were 2 highlights to speak of:

1. The Dears- A Canadian band, 6 people, lots of keyboards, delicious stuff.
2. The Potato Knish that I ate on the way home- Also Delecious.

Saturday, post Day of the Sunburnt Hipsters, was spent in Little Italy, or as we call it Mulgrew Territory. I must say, it was a beautiful evening. There is so much food on Mulberry Street, it would take a lifetime to eat it all. I am not intimidated by this, in fact, Mulberry street should be intimidated by The Odyssey(tm) and all it represents.

What would a blog be without a celebrity sighting? While taking a break from work to get a chicken sandwich with turkey bacon (yeeeeeah) at 2am, I had to meander through the sunday night bar crowd. I was playing my favorite game, Spot The Jersey Girl, when I spotted one. My thought process went like this; “look at that blonde ho, definitely from the NJ, she should not be exposing that much stomach, and that dude next to her in the NYPD hat, dude, seriously……thats Christian Slater” and thats how it went. He looked at me as if to say “please don’t recognize me, I’m with a hooker and I’m sooooooo high”.

you know how out of nowhere an opinion can change? it could be eating a type of cuisine you once found horrible to be fantastic, or seeing a person suddenly in a whole new way. Welllllll, in this case I heard the intro to a Rilo Kiley song, and I was like, Whoa. (you thought I would put a serious thought in this blog? apparently, you have not read my blog manifesto)

Elvis Costello was all like “That ‘does he love you’ song is the shit, dude” on his iTune playlist, yes thats the exact quote, word for word. Up until tonight, I disagreed with Sr. Costello. Then, I put on some headphones and listened to the intro. This Mellotron part totally just snuck up on me, which for some reason was washed out in my car speakers- the only way I had previously listened. Wow, intense, seriously. Side tangent, here we go:

I have recently been made fun of for saying ’seriously’ a lot. when I was mocked for this process, this was my comeback; I was once hiking in Maryland, which I was unaware had mountains. Apparently, it does. I was hiking with my cousins and sister, and we were in the middle of a clearing, trees on both sides. Everyone is laughing, joking around, and I see something in a bush. I see a giant head pop out, and begin to walk. Maryland apparently has bears as well. I am the only one to notice, so I say “seriously guys, seriously, look” everyone continues laughing, now at me, and then they see it. SEE THAT BITCHES??? Serious enough for ya?

Back to the song. Only the intro posesses such mellotron-tasticness, but it completely brought up the level of the whole song. deliciousness. Go itunes it now, join the cool kids- Me and Elvis Costello, only he doesnt know we are in a group together. Oh my god, I need a piece of pepperoni pizza right now. I have no idea where that came from. Maybe its the lack of Odyssey activity, but its just got to happen.

Seriously

so, the weekend has ended. Oy Vey.

First off, who is this Andy Melunakis (spelling?) kid who has a show on MTV? It may have been the lack of sleep or large amount of sugar and chili cheese dip in my system, but that kid is freaking hilarious. He even mocked the blog phenom. Pure genius.

The band was in the studio for the past 3 days, and let me just say, the drums sound like a massive freight train/ truck/ large moped, straight out of hell, headed towards your face, and there are no breaks in site, bitch. Lots of instruments, lots of sound. BUT, Perhaps the best studio experience, besides the music, was learning about R Kelly’s “Trapped In The Closet” video.

Now, if you have not heard about this wonderful piece of cinematic, musical, and cultural history, I will enlighten you. This is not your average R&B slow jam. no no no. This is a 10 part saga, nearly an hour in length, all set to music. It begins with our man R, waking up in the bed of a lady friend, realizing he is not with his wife, and attempting to leave. She informs him that her husband is coming up the stairs, so he must hide in the closet instead of exiting through the front door. NOW, all is fine, until a call comes through on his cell phone. Through the lyrical genius of Mr Kelly, we learn that “he tried as quickly as I could to put it on viiiiiiiiiiiibraaaaaate”, but alas, it was too late. The husband of the woman was approaching the closet door, and R is forced to pull out his Baretta. You think this is the end? no no no. thats not even the end of Part 1. I’m not going to give away the ending here, since MTV is only up to part 2, but lets just say it involves themes of homosexuality, infidelity, police brutality, and goddamn sexy R&B slow jams. As someone said while we watched, his lyrics sound like a 4th grader narrating what they did on their summer vacation. I will say though, it is a great musical confidence booster to realize shit like that is being produced by multi platnum artists.

Now, after the R Kelly rant, we must discuss the food. Playing in a band can have several different effects on the way you eat. You could be in a band like Medeski Martin Wood, and travel the world sampling delicious cuisine from Japan to South America- cooking in the kitchen of your tour bus, or you could eat McDonalds 3 times in one day, in 3 different states like I once did. I assure those days are long gone, and my stomach thanks me. In the studio this weekend, much food was ordered. We began with some sushi, which i believe to be the perfect recording food. I was not weighed down, Yet I was sort of full. We followed the next day with the standard Chinese food, kind of eh. Later saturday evening, we had some chili cheese dip, strawberry fluff-cream cheese fruit dip, and some alcohol. Let me tell you, some good stuff. None of the odyssey crew (TM) was in attendace, but I consider it my personal odyssey solo album.

So we begin a new journey to the blogosphere together, thanks to the help of the one and only Eric Tarn, master of the internet.

Much is happening on the food front, I ate 2 burgers today. One was of turkey variety, and the other a standard cow containing all the fixings. delicious? yes. I dont descriminate when it comes to burgers. Tuna, Turkey, Chicken, Buffalo,,,,,its all good.

The biggest news of the day is that I got a haircut. Most probably do not give a poo, but it is quite a drastic move for me. My hair was almost exactly the same for nearly 4 years, so it might change my entire existance. Then again, it might not, its only hair. My head is about 8 lbs lighter, i’m worried about the negative effects it will have on my neck while playing and shaking my head without counter weight. Screw you, I think about it.

The band goes into the studio tomorrow, it is quite an undertaking in a real studio, unlike any i have been in before. we’ll see how that goes, and what is eaten during the breaks.